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           Give yourself time. Take a breathis this the time or place to talk about troubling issues?


           Check your anger level. Am I too angry to have a productive conversation?
Is the other person too angry to talk?


           Clarify the real issue. Why am I upset? What do I need? What does the other person need?


           Listen. Often when you listen first, the other person will listen to you. Say back what you heard, giving the other person a chance to clarify.


           Say what you need (and explain how you feel) without blaming and judging the other person.

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