* Give yourself time…take a breath.
Is this the time/place to talk about troubling issues?
* Check your anger level.
Am I too angry to have a productive conversation?
Is the other person too angry to talk?
* Clarify the real issue.
Why am I upset? What do I need? What does the other person need?
* Listen. Often when you listen first, the other person will listen to you. Say back what you heard, giving the other person a chance to clarify.
* Say what you need (and explain how you feel) without blaming and judging.
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